Hello, dear readers, and welcome!
So, sitting down yesterday at one of my favorite cafes, I began to think of this post. What on Earth am I going to write, I wondered. I want it to be something good, something worth reading; no one likes to have their time wasted, after all. I want it to be something profound, maybe, or something humorous...or at least something worth saying.
I know myself too well to disguise the fact that I am, in many, many ways, an utter and complete perfectionist. It's both a good trait and a bad, and something that I've "come to terms with" over time, and learned to tone down when I need to. But it's true -- I always want to write something profound here, something to help or inspire those who read this blog. It's my mission in writing the blog (my mission in writing at all, really).
But some days, I scramble for something to say.
Yesterday was one of those days, as I was (attempting) to plan something wonderful to write here.
Today is one of those days, even now.
It wasn't until late into the evening, reading a book, that I finally decided what I would write/say: that I had nothing to write/say.
We are always in competition with others for the most profound (the most witty, the most sly, etc.) -- or, if you're me, you're constantly in competition with yourself, to outdo your last blog post (or book, or poem, or painting, etc.), to become better than you were before. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't, but every time we learn something new about ourselves, and even if we feel like we haven't moved forward, we have.
And sometimes, we have nothing to say at all -- and that is where listening comes in.
The last few years, I have challenged myself to listen more, to not be the first one to talk. It can be difficult at times, because there is so much to say -- for better or worse, profound or merely white noise. The amazing thing is that as I have trained myself to listen more, I have heard more; this isn't so surprising, maybe, but when you truly think about it, it is an amazing thing.
We sometimes get so caught up in talking, or even in thinking, that we miss out on hearing things, experiencing things. They may be little things -- the sound of birds in the trees, the whisper of the wind, the sound of laughter, the crunch of dirt or gravel or grass beneath our feet. The more we listen, the more we SEE, as well -- the colors we never noticed before, the tilt of the leaves, the beautiful sunset that nothing but our eyes can fully capture. I noticed all of these things while taking a quiet walk the other day, and I thought to myself: "Enjoy this."
Enjoy the moment. Enjoy seeing, and feeling, and listening. You will get something out of it, even if it seems small at first.
So, today, I have nothing to say, and that is alright. Sometimes it is better to listen, to be, to spend time doing "nothing". I am learning that--
So perhaps I have something to say, after all.